Some people treat me like their little sister, the pampering, the free advice with loads of love. Ess was one such person and try as I might I don't remember how it all started. Ess had a cousin Rey, and Rey was the typical character that I admired - strong, never complaining, looking from the other person's perspective, having an easy solution for the toughest of issues (is there one? I wonder now, but I was too young then) and very feminine in her looks and charming in the way she walked and talked. I was always awed by the way she carried herself, and would have copied a thing or two from her as well.
I think my relationship with Ess just happened around Rey. While I tried hard to make my presence felt by Rey among her admirers, Ess sought me for company. She was no different from Rey as long as she she stayed silent. Her talks, walks and thoughts were all in complete contrast to Rey. She laughed loudly never the feminine giggle, her pat fell hard on my back, her funny comments and remarks were nothing short of a boy's loud and boisterous one.
Ess was from a troubled family, dystopic it sounds to me now. The chief reason being an alcoholic father. "Usually people with family problems give such reasons", on some occasion Rey told me, "it wasn't that bad. Some men drink. That's all." I was in school then and never seen drunks in the family. It was despised at.
I think my relationship with Ess just happened around Rey. While I tried hard to make my presence felt by Rey among her admirers, Ess sought me for company. She was no different from Rey as long as she she stayed silent. Her talks, walks and thoughts were all in complete contrast to Rey. She laughed loudly never the feminine giggle, her pat fell hard on my back, her funny comments and remarks were nothing short of a boy's loud and boisterous one.
Ess was from a troubled family, dystopic it sounds to me now. The chief reason being an alcoholic father. "Usually people with family problems give such reasons", on some occasion Rey told me, "it wasn't that bad. Some men drink. That's all." I was in school then and never seen drunks in the family. It was despised at.
I was 3 years younger than Ess, and knew a little bit of her love story, her mother's struggle story and lots of advises on how to stay strong and not be perturbed by anyone or anything. "It all comes down to you, how you let things control you. Never lose your reins to anyone else".
The last day I met her was to announce my admission to an Engineering college far down south, to continue life as a boarder. I was all tears that day with everyone assuring it was going to be a great beginning to me, towards my dream. All that stays of those last minutes in my blurry memory, is her holding my hands and patting me.
Life changed, and I hardly had time to think about Ess or Rey. New friends, place, books and know-hows kept me busy and living. It was after 3 years that I received a letter from a friend Em. She was coming to my town to attend a marriage and wanted to meet me. It was start of my vacation and I changed my plan of going home with my college friends to instead meet Em, attend the marriage and then travel back home with her.
The last day I met her was to announce my admission to an Engineering college far down south, to continue life as a boarder. I was all tears that day with everyone assuring it was going to be a great beginning to me, towards my dream. All that stays of those last minutes in my blurry memory, is her holding my hands and patting me.
Life changed, and I hardly had time to think about Ess or Rey. New friends, place, books and know-hows kept me busy and living. It was after 3 years that I received a letter from a friend Em. She was coming to my town to attend a marriage and wanted to meet me. It was start of my vacation and I changed my plan of going home with my college friends to instead meet Em, attend the marriage and then travel back home with her.
While on our way back to Chennai, on the luxury bus, I asked about Rey and Ess.
"Rey is happily married and has a baby girl, 7 months old"
"... and Ess?"
"Her marriage was finalized with the guy she loved."
"What do you mean finalized? When is it happening?", I shout with glee.
Em took a deep breath, "She... she committed suicide."
"What? When? Why? You said the marriage was finalized with the guy she loved. What then?"
"Just a week before the marriage she returned home after watching a movie with him, and her grandmother... You don't know these old ladies, they... they have a sharp tongue."
"What did she say?"
"... can't you wait for one more bloody week? What sort of a woman you are? So desperate for that man? and... you know her, don't you? Ess? She said something and the old woman wouldn't stop either. Things turned too ugly and while she did go back to her room after all the interventions from family and friends, no one imagined she would hang herself that night."
"Hang??? She hanged herself? With the wedding sari?", I asked perplexed.
Em looked at me, right into my eyes. "Kid! You knew her too well...", she says softly, taking my hands into hers, pats gently, and as the bus jerked on turning the highway, tears start flowing through my cheeks and I sobbed endlessly.
"Rey is happily married and has a baby girl, 7 months old"
"... and Ess?"
"Her marriage was finalized with the guy she loved."
"What do you mean finalized? When is it happening?", I shout with glee.
Em took a deep breath, "She... she committed suicide."
"What? When? Why? You said the marriage was finalized with the guy she loved. What then?"
"Just a week before the marriage she returned home after watching a movie with him, and her grandmother... You don't know these old ladies, they... they have a sharp tongue."
"What did she say?"
"... can't you wait for one more bloody week? What sort of a woman you are? So desperate for that man? and... you know her, don't you? Ess? She said something and the old woman wouldn't stop either. Things turned too ugly and while she did go back to her room after all the interventions from family and friends, no one imagined she would hang herself that night."
"Hang??? She hanged herself? With the wedding sari?", I asked perplexed.
Em looked at me, right into my eyes. "Kid! You knew her too well...", she says softly, taking my hands into hers, pats gently, and as the bus jerked on turning the highway, tears start flowing through my cheeks and I sobbed endlessly.